you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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