So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dicks are not precious.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
