just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
