dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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