She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
