I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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