The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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