how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I understand Curling. That high.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
