He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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