You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
