Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
