I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
