If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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