Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
