She said her name was "party"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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