yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
