is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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