We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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