Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
