dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
