I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
