You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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