so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
