They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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