i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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