i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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