can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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