i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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