splinters make it hard to masturbate
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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