you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
