? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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