it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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