I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
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That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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