Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize