Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize