I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
