bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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