so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
