there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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