she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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