I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
