the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
