K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
