I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
