If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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