i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize