Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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