okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize