We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize