i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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