my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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