Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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