last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
