Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
