if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
