nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
