I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
