god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
