I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
