Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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