I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
