Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
