those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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