shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
