So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
