just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
