He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
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We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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