Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize